Every generation has had its share of difficulties that it had to endure. From war, to drugs, to plagues, to technology.
Wait. What? How can I lump technology into that group?
Well, I'm first admitting that my current generation has it pretty easy when compared to what my Grandpa had to go through, or what his Grandpa had to go through. Yes, I'm talking about strictly a first world problem. No, they don't compare in severity or the cost many fathers had to pay in the past. But in having the ability to ruin a life or a relationship between a Father and his child, technology is powerful.
I feel it is important that I stress that I am a huge fan of technology. I have a blog about it even, and I'm often accused of being a geek, something I take as a compliment really. I think technology is amazing, and I want my kids to understand it and be a part of it growing up as I feel these are life skills for their future. However, I also see the luring temptation that it can be. I see the pitfalls of laziness that many kids and adults can easily fall into.
There are two sides to the negative end of technology. The kid side, and the Dad side.
The kid side is easy for me to see and pick on as it is always easier to see and pick on another person's faults. So, I'll deal with it first.
As parents of two boys and two girls now, the fight my wife and I wage daily often centers around a digital screen. TV, Xbox, computer, tablet, phones... There are so many desirable options for kids to spend their time, it is easy for them to simply jump from one to another. If I need to really punish my boys, taking away screen time is most effective.
Yet, this dependence on technology can have adverse effects on children. Einstein said that true knowledge is imagination. And by spending 24 hours a day in front of a screen, a child's imagination is easily harmed. Growing up, being bored was a reality of life. And, yet, it was something we would overcome by finding something to do. Play outside, build a fort, ride a bike, swim, skate, and so on. I remember once taking a bucket of finish nails and a pile of scrap, wood trim and nailing every piece together across the yard (I'm sure my dad loved cleaning that up). The point is, we created things to do with our imaginations and what we had at our disposal. Raining outside? Tent time with sheets! Painting! Games! Sunny outside? Then why on earth would we stay in? Get outside! Go climbing! Running! Build something! Lock that grumpy old neighbour in his outhouse! Oh, forget that last one, sorry...
But now, the instant a child senses boredom coming, what is their first reaction? Head outside? Build something? Or turn on a screen?
As a parent, we must find that balance between technology and becoming creative and imaginative. And it can be tough, as so often parents tend to use technology as a babysitter. Because we don't have time, or don't have enough concern, to spend time with our kids, we turn on a screen so that they are entertained.
Let me be clear. It is not my job to entertain my child 24/7.
Did you hear that part?
Yes, spend time with them. Yes, keep them safe. Yes, keep them healthy. But there should be no guilt in telling your child to go and figure out something to do in their own.
And therein lies another challenge of balance.
When is it Ok for you to tell your child to go and entertain themselves, and when should you get up off that couch and play with them? Parents need downtime, we need time to wind down or just relax. But kids need to be a high priority. Take them to the park, play a family board game or have an evening of hide and seek! Let me put it this way. If you are at the end of your life looking back, will you regret not having down time or not having enough time with your child? I think any decent parent knows the answer to that. Yet sometimes it is still hard to make that decision. And, more often than not, that decision becomes even harder with technology in the picture.
Ever snapped at your child for interrupting your TV show? Or your phone call? How about while playing one of those oh-so-addictive Facebook games? I think there are many of us out there who would quickly hang our heads in shame for these types of actions.
Technology in the hands of a child can become harmfully addictive. Technology in the hands of a father can become harmfully disruptive.
There is no better way to tell a child they are not important than by regarding a piece of metal and plastic higher than them. Don't talk to me, I'm on the phone. Yes, of course I saw that picture you showed me while I was texting on my phone! No, I won't stop this movie, I already gave you a bedtime hug!
The message we send by such actions can be interpreted no other way. You are just a child, I will devote my time to you after I am done focusing on some other more important things.
Next time you give your child grief for his use of technology, consider yours. Next time your child wants to show you something, put the phone down. Shut the computer off. Drop the tablet. Show them that they are worth so much more than anything else I can your possession.
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